Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age - by Sherry Turkle

my notes:

We are forever elsewhere.

Learning isn’t all about the answers. It’s about what the answers mean.

In solitude we find ourselves. When we are secure in ourselves we are able to listen to others and really hear what they have to say.

Speaking and listening with attention are skills that can be taught.

The classroom is a social space where students can see how thinking happens.

Don’t confuse the difficult with the impossible.

What we value most is control over where we put our attention.

If we don’t teach our children how to be alone, they will only know how to be lonely.

It is often when we hesitate, stutter, or fall silent that we reveal ourselves most to each other. And to ourselves.

We have convinced ourselves that surfing the web is the same as daydreaming.

We want children to know that words are associated with feelings.

When people say they are ‘addicted’ to their phones, they mean that they don’t want what their phones allow them to avoid.

Every time you check your phone in company, what you gain is a hit of stimulation, a neurochemical shot, and what you lose is what a friend, teacher, parent, lover, or co-worker just said, meant, felt.

If you don’t have practice in thinking alone, you are less able to bring your ideas to the table with confidence and authority.

A teacher is a model for how thinking happens, including false starts and hindsight.

Just because technology can help us solve a ‘problem’ doesn’t mean it was a problem in the first place.

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and less in control, our relationships, creativity and productivity thrive.

Paul Tillich, “Language has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of it.”

If we care about solitude, we have to communicate this to our children. They are not going to pick it up on their own.

Picasso, “ Without great solitude, no serious work is possible.”

When you’re on social media, you don’t leave, but you are not sure if you are making a conscious decision to stay.

When we reach for a phone to push reverie way, we should get into the habit of asking why:
Are we hiding from anxiety?
Are we hiding from a good idea that will demand difficult work?
Are we hiding from a question that will take time to sort through?

A good friend is someone who keeps you off your phone when you’re together.

A phone always gives you a way to look busy.

There is a lot we accept as the new normal that we don’t like at all.

Technology makes us forget what we know about life.

The most successful tyranny is the one that removes awareness of other possibilities.